Pushing Harder and Rambling

I have no excuse not to accomplish my goals.  

I had to sit down and write an email to my Coach the other day that I do not wish to write again.  The short - I missed a few runs.  

The long - 

I enjoy running I feel better afterwards...it's just...doing it.  I have a million and one excuses but none of them are valid.  I just need to do it.  I just need to say "drop it all" and just get out there.  But, that is easier said than done.  I am a Mother of two, Wife, Business Owner, Team Mom and Caregiver.  Where does running fit in?  How many balls can I juggle and what if I drop them?  Perhaps I ought to take up joggling?  But, again, it feels so good!  

Setting a goal and following it to the end just feels amazing.  It doesn't matter how small or pointless it seems to others.  It is MY goal not theirs.  It's not a big deal to them but it's a HUGE deal me.  Yes, I feel like I am going to die about halfway into my training and no one will know until they drive past my corpse on their morning commute but I have to push on...I do it for my kids...I do it for me.

So why do I miss my runs?  I lack discipline.  I grew up in an unhealthy household surrounded by obesity, overindulgence and quitting.  I have to retrain not only my body but my way of thinking.  No, it's not ok and it's not acceptable.  I need to set an example and break this vicious cycle not only for myself but for my children.  

I need to push myself and be pushed.

I need to focus and follow through.

I need to be smacked around when I quit.

So goals...

I am signed up for my first race on 12/10 and will be running with my Coach, Lesley.  

I am also running both days of the New Years Double!